Nobody Wants to Talk About It—But Silence Is Worse
Your adult children are probably hoping you’ll live forever. They don’t want to think about losing you, and they definitely don’t want to bring up uncomfortable topics like wills, medical decisions, or funeral preferences.
But here’s the thing: avoiding the conversation doesn’t make it go away. It just makes it harder when the time comes.
As a parent, you have the power to make this easier for everyone. You can break the ice, lead the discussion, and turn an awkward conversation into an act of love.
Why Adult Children Avoid “The Talk”
Your kids (even when they’re 30, 40, or 50) struggle with these conversations because:
- They don’t want to seem greedy or presumptuous
- It feels like they’re wishing for your death
- They’re not sure what questions to ask
- They don’t want to upset you or seem morbid
- They hope “someone else” will handle it
Meanwhile, you might be avoiding it because:
- You don’t want to burden them
- You’re not sure how to bring it up
- You haven’t figured everything out yourself yet
- It feels too overwhelming to tackle
The Cost of Waiting
When families don’t have these conversations, adult children often:
- Make decisions they’re not confident about
- Argue with siblings about what you “would have wanted”
- Feel guilty about choices they made during your final days
- Spend months or years dealing with legal and financial complications
- Carry emotional weight that could have been avoided
How to Start the Conversation
Make It About Love, Not Death Instead of: “We need to talk about what happens when I die.” Try: “I want to make sure you’re never left guessing about what I’d want.”
Choose the Right Time and Place
- Pick a relaxed moment, not during a crisis
- Consider doing it during a family gathering or holiday
- Make it feel natural, not formal or scary
Start Small You don’t have to cover everything in one conversation. Begin with:
- “I’ve been thinking about organizing my important papers…”
- “Have you ever thought about what you’d want if you were in my situation?”
- “I want to make sure you know where to find my insurance information…”
What Your Adult Children Actually Need to Know
Your Wishes:
- Medical care preferences (DNR, life support, organ donation)
- Funeral and burial preferences
- Who should make decisions if you can’t
Practical Information:
- Where important documents are located
- Account information and passwords
- Insurance policies and beneficiaries
- Who to call for help (lawyer, financial advisor, close friends)
Family Dynamics:
- How you want assets divided
- Any special requests or sentimental items
- Your feelings about family relationships and dynamics
Making It Easier for Everyone
Use Tools and Resources Having a structured planner or guide makes the conversation feel less overwhelming. You can say, “I’m working through this planning guide, and I’d love your input on a few things.”
Include Everyone If you have multiple children, include them all in the conversation. This prevents misunderstandings and ensures everyone has the same information.
Be Honest About Relationships If there are family tensions or complicated relationships, address them honestly. Your children need to know how you want things handled.
Update Regularly Make this an ongoing conversation, not a one-time event. As your life changes, keep your family informed.
The Relief That Comes After
Families who have these conversations report feeling:
- Closer to each other
- More confident about the future
- Less anxious about the unknown
- Better prepared for whatever comes
Your adult children will be grateful you took the lead, even if the conversation feels awkward at first.
What Happens When You Lead by Example
When you approach end-of-life planning openly and thoughtfully, you give your children permission to do the same. You’re modeling healthy communication and planning for their own families.
This isn’t just about your death—it’s about teaching your family how to handle life’s biggest challenges with grace, preparation, and love.
Your Children Are Waiting for You to Bring It Up
They want to know your wishes. They want to honor your legacy. They want to do right by you.
But they need you to start the conversation.
Don’t wait for the “perfect time” or for them to ask. Be the parent who makes the hard conversations easier.
Ready to Start the Conversation?
The Secure Tomorrow, Today planner gives you a structured way to organize your thoughts and wishes before you talk to your family. It also provides conversation starters and guidance for these important discussions.
Your children don’t want to guess what you would have wanted. Download Secure Tomorrow, Today for $27 and give them the gift of clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.
